Staff Writer
Seth Pohorence

By today’s standards, I would be called a metro sexual.  I feel that term is incorrect in describing me.  One, I live in a rural area and secondly, what is sexual about the metro?  Personally, I’m a guy who just really cares about how he looks.  My mom is partially to blame and my career choice is secondly to blame.

My mom was always making sure I looked my best (can you blame her, I mean I look good, I mean, really good) and she was always making sure I wore matching outfits.  She’s one of those people who should be a personal shopper for rich business men, buying $5,000 Armani suits and going to Ralph Lauren and buying tweed blazers with a French cuffed shirt and matching brown penny loafers.  I could never see my mom raising a metro sexual, I mean come on, we’re Republicans.

From my career standpoint, nothing is more image-driven than media.  The people the media cover and especially on television, the people who make up the media are scrutinized by appearance.  Why do you think a news anchor would get a hair piece or botox injections?  Exactly, and they only read the news!  So the pressure is on to look my best.  The hair has to look good, the clothes have to fit right, and I do everything short of wearing a suit to bed.

However, I will not be a metro sexual.  So what if I meticulously fashion my hair a certain way every day?  So what if I only wear the best my funds can afford, I’m Seth Pohorence!

Enough about me, my real beef is where my “metro sexual” designers are going.  Like geographic boundaries in Africa, fashion and styles change. 

Believe it or not, two years ago people were still wearing cargo pants as if they were that cool look (man, I should have seen their downfall coming).  Heck, a decade ago people wore really bad pants with a hideous design, Zubaz.  I myself did not own a pair, I wore sweatpants. 

Of course those who are knowledgeable about Seinfeld know that sweatpants in public are the bold statement that you really don’t care about appearance and you might not have any aspirations of success.  Glad to see I’ve made a turnaround.

However, designers have gone too far nowadays.  Where do they come off bringing back slim fit jeans… for men no less?  Now, personally, my physical appearance doesn’t suggest that I lift three hundred pounds (I only weight 140 pounds), but my strength is in my legs and quite frankly slim fit jeans would not be a solid wardrobe choice.

I already had beef with the current state of the rise of jeans (rise is how the pant sits on your waist).  I myself like a regular rise, which means it sits on your waist.  However, cruising Abercrombie and Fitch and American Eagle, even Ralph Lauren, I stumble upon very few jeans with regular rise but low rise.  No, I will have none of this.  Low rise jeans are for girls.  That’s not a sexist comment but by appearance alone, females have a better physical appearance than men. 

I’ll forgive button flies but not low rise jeans.  We’re a culture that grew up on John Wayne, Burt Reynolds and Bruce Willis and I’m pretty sure the Duke or John McClane would not wear low rise jeans.

It already angered me when looking on the Internet and seeing an article about men wearing leggings.  Courier readers, Potables fans (all four of you) I might have to walk around nude if men’s fashion goes this way. 

Some might argue that I could buy suits (something that rarely change drastically like mainstream fashion) but I have my principles.  Anyways, if I were to go nude, you people would finally believe me on how muscular my legs are.

Fisher Fact:  The bookstore has ordered 45 cases of Zubaz pants and leggings for men.

sap4598@sjfc.edu