For those who are unaware of the date mentioned above, that is a Wednesday, you know the day after Tuesday, election day in our great country. 

I only bring this up since I’m guessing an overwhelming majority of my audience (children who still believe penguins fly, nihilists and my mom) did not exercise their rights as citizens to vote.

 I, part of the minority, voted.  Who I voted for will be mentioned later on in the column but the fact still remains that people, particularly young people, did not, do not and will not vote.  You would think that more would vote, since this school holds functions and assemblies to talk about changing the world, hates on President Bush and makes sure we understand that since Gorbachev is Russian, he might not speak English.

That’s a huge point: this school offers so many opportunities to allow students to exercise their freedom of assembly (part of your First Amendment right) and yet when it comes to election day, the day where candidates who have no particular liking for any of us beyond their tally as a vote students and young people across America fail to even use their right to vote. 

Did P. Diddy or Diddy or Puff Daddy not threaten to kill you for not voting?  Was Kanye West not effective enough telling you that President Bush and probably all Republicans hate certain minority groups?  Do we only vote for presidents and not senators (not the Ottawa ones) and representatives who have as much power to check and balance the president?  The answer is more or less yes.  College kids honestly do not care about what Diddy did, do not care that Kanye thinks that Jim Crow laws exist and do not care who their congressman is as long as President Bush is not their president.  To which I say…. What a horrible country we are!

Granted, politicians are like Mike Tyson and Michael Jackson; both had their great qualities and both have horrible qualities that make people not want to vote or follow Washington.  Tyson was the man; he clobbered anyone in the ring until Buster Douglas brought him to earth, and now Tyson gets horrible tattoos and bites people’s ears. 

Michael Jackson made Thriller, which gave him unlimited marketing appeal and now… well, we will not go there, I’m fairly certain we know where that will go.  The same goes for politicians.  The Democrats are great with dealing with domestic matters and the environment, but they support abortion and are responsible for the rise and fall of Al Gore. 

Republicans are great, they create a solid foreign policy that allows other countries to come to us if they need military assistance but they are unforgiving to domestic policy and are misunderstood because Republicans are usually white and Christian.

Judging by the last response, and by how I thank God for what I have in life, it seems to be no secret I am a registered Republican.  People wonder why I even chose that path, which itself is interesting since a majority of journalists consider themselves to be liberal (around 3/4) and that they think Republicans are horrible people bent on world domination.

 I will say this; I owe my life to the Republican Party.  It all goes back to 1979.  Disco was dying, the Pittsburgh Pirates fielded a pennant contender and my parents were establishing a family in Ohio.  America was in shambles and my parents were trying to raise more money to have more than one kid (my oldest brother was born in 1978). 

They did the right thing that next election year, voting for Ronald Regan, a man who promised my parents this: if they voted for him, he would bring back the economy so my parents can have enough money to bring Seth Austin James Pohorence in the world.  This is true in the fact my mom told me that if Carter was re-elected my family would have considered not having more children.  So I am in debt to the GOP.

Actually I’m not but it’s a funny story to tell.  I’m Republican because my parents are quite conservative, my dad was a rebel and broke off from a Democrat raised family and my mom was old conservative money.  They met, married and now listen to Rush Limbaugh (a personality that I cannot tolerate) and complain about how Democrats are destroying the values of America, which they do (this is a solid expression that will definitely get some debating about how American I am).

With that said, I chose to be Republican.  That’s right, I’m a white Christian, who is fearful of minorities, I hate immigrants, thinks Bill Clinton is a horrible man. I’m dishonest, I lie a lot, I support wars to kill the lower class of America, I try to bring Christianity into public places, I hate homosexuals, I’m rich and support other rich people, or I’m like any other individual in America and do not actually abide by this stereotype.

 Republicans and Democrats rule, so get your butt out next November and vote!

Fisher Fact:  Al Gore invented this column.

STAFF WRITER
SETH POHORENCE
Email address: srs04400@sjfc.edu